Monday, 20 February 2017

7 Tips To Help Better Parenting After Separation Or Divorce

Unfortunately so many marriages seem to be falling apart in recent times and the children suffer from the fallout hence a need to consciously address this issue.

A couple of days ago, there was news about how American actors, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have decided to stop the ugly custody battle that they initially embarked on as regards their 6 children.

Parents who are separated or divorced need to learn to put their differences aside for the sake of their children because their actions will affect the perception the children will have of relationships generally.

If you are a parent who is separated or divorced, do not let negative feelings about each other affect the growth and development of your children. Sometimes, due to the circumstances that might have led to the separation or divorce, it might not be an easy thing to do BUT it takes a lot of deliberate commitment to co-parent your children.

Often time, after a divorce one of the parents may find it is necessary to relocate. They may need to get away from the place that holds so many memories for them. However, it is still possible to be a quality parent when you live far away from your children. 

Below are some tips to help in this instance:

1. Make sure your child(ren) understands you didn’t move to get away from them. They will need to know this from you so they don’t assume they are at fault because too many children sometimes end up blaming themselves after a separation or divorce  occurs. 

2. Let your child(ren) know where you will be moving to and why. Let them also know how they can get in contact with you so they won’t feel abandoned in any way. If there is a time change between where you live and where they live, make sure they know about that too so they understand the best way of getting in touch with you. 

3. It is important that you do all you can to stay connected to your child(ren). They should feel like they can call you any time of the day or the night and if possible send them call credit so there is no excuse not to communicate. Try and be in contact with them every couple of days, even if it is only to talk for a few minutes.

4. Try and have a cordial relationship between you and your spouse or partner for the benefit of the kids except in cases where there is a threat to life.

5. Stay interested in what your children are doing. Find out what is going on at school. Ask about their friends and their activities and make sure you contribute positively to their welfare.

6. Be considerate about scheduling and planning the time you see your child(ren) especially as regards custody arrangements when the court rules that the child stay with a particular parent for holidays. Remember that they will also want to spend some of that time with the parent they live with and also see some of their friends. 

7. While giving your child(ren) gifts is a good thing, they need to know that you love them and that you care about them and physically hanging out with them from time to time is also required.

This list is not exhaustive as it is very important to note that there are more things that can be done to make a separation or divorce not too hard on your child.

All rights reserved (2017) ®  Bimbo Olasope

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