Bittersweet Joy: Celebrating My Son At 10 Without His Late Twin

Few days ago, the 26th of September precisely, I wrote about my daughter turning 13 years old and today, September 30th, my son turns 10. Before you ask me how I did that, honestly I don't know because I never actually sat down to even think about having a second child at that time but you know how God does His things. I even lost a pregnancy in between the three years since having my first child.

The only thing I remember was that when I found out I was pregnant again, I asked God to give me twins so I could close shop finally and not have anymore kids. Did He answer? Oh yes He did and 30th September 2005, I gave birth to a boy and a girl, Taiwo Ayomipo Oluwaseun and Kehinde Ayolana Oluwaseyi! I still remember how thrilled I felt the first time I went for a scan and they told me I was expecting a boy and a girl, I was beside myself with joy. It was as if I won the lottery and I couldn't believe it was that easy for God to answer prayers.

Unfortunately, my plans to have them abroad like my first born was dashed when the embassy refused me visa to my shock and amazement. I had to settle for plan B and have them here and trust me it was not a pleasant experience at all. My pregnancy was very difficult (as usual) and I was as huge as a whale....Lol. My blood pressure rose off the roof and a couple of times I thought I won't even survive to tell the story but to the Glory of God I did and even had a natural birth without any pain relievers and after having tears, they sewed me up without any anesthetic!

I eventually went home with my 2 bundles of joy and I was in cloud 9 and people every where called me Iya Ibeji (mummy of twins) which always sounded pleasant in my ears. However, the joy was short lived when 2 months later, my little daughter, Ayomipo's eyes became yellow and she could barely keep any food down.

I took her back to the hospital where I had her and the doctor allayed my fears and said many babies are born jaundiced but hers took a longer time to manifest. He prescribed some antibiotics and sent us home and that was the beginning of the horror I lived for the next 10 months.

From January 2006, myself and Ayomipo became hospital patients as I had to now take her to a proper Pediatrician when the color of her eyes refused to change and she kept throwing up her food and always seemed to be in pain. After a lot of back and forth, she was finally diagnosed with "Biliary Artresia", which is a childhood disease of the liver in which one or more bile ducts are abnormally narrow, blocked, or absent. 

As if that was not bad enough, this disease is so rare that according to records, there are only about 15,000 cases in the US and 16,000 in Britain. In East Asia, it occurs one in about 5,000 children. I am giving all these statistics for you to know how rare this disease is and my own baby had it!

It also got worse because the cause of Biliary Atresia is still yet to be known and the only effective treatment was either a Kasai surgery or liver transplant  with extremely low survival rate.

This was when my sorrow truly began, at that time it wasn't about my bad marriage or abuse anymore. My life was just all about my daughter being the exception to the rule. I prayed, fasted and even went to different mountains and holistic camps looking for healing for my daughter but nothing worked.

By the time she was 7 months old, her tummy was so swollen, I couldn't take her out because of people's comments and questions. She was always in pain and very malnourished because she couldn't eat and her liver was not processing her bile very well and it was poisoning her system. We spent so many days and nights in the hospital and I forgot I even had 2 other children waiting for mummy, it was all about Ayomipo.

It was this time I understood the vanity of couples looking for a particular sex of child. Either male or female, I can tell you for free that having a healthy child is the most important thing!

The acting Chief Medical Director of LUTH, Dr Christopher Bode was one of the few doctors handling such cases in Nigeria at that time and he did all he could but eventually told me the bad news that my baby girl was showing "failure to thrive" He even became a support system of sorts and used to just encourage me to be strong and made sure his staff gave us their best and more.

Still not satisfied with all these, I became a researcher of sorts looking online for a miracle cure and was chatting with specialists all over the world in a bid to keep Ayomipo alive. I eventually lost her on the 4th of September 2006, the same month she would have turned 1 year old.

Writing this 9 years after her death is still not easy and I still cry when I remember her but I still give God all the glory because even though I lost so much, He didn't allow me lose everything. I tell people, that things I have gone through in life should have made me a psychiatric case but for some reason, God gave me the grace and strength to cope and come out of it.

Seeing her twin brother turn 10 years old today is indeed a bittersweet experience for me because I still wonder what it would have been like having both of them celebrate their birthday together.......*sigh*

Taiwo Ayomipo Oluwaseun, my beautiful little daughter, I can NEVER forget you. Even though our time together was very short, you still remain dear to my heart and your twin, Kehinde Ayolana Oluwaseyi still remembers you as well.

He is turning out very well to the glory of God and is what you would call a mummy boy with the way he dotes on me and is so sensitive to my every mood...*smile* 

May your beautiful soul continue to rest in the bosom of God but know that your space in my heart is still very much alive.

PHOTO CREDIT

PIXABAY