Sunday, 9 August 2015

The What Will People Say Syndrome That Puts Us In Trouble


What will people say has always been a major issue that has affected and continues to affect so many of us. Before we do anything we think first about how people will react, while I am not saying it shouldn't be considered, don't allow it be your driving force. 

I have asked so many people around me who sets the standard of "acceptable" behavior in the world and I ask you that question today as well. Who has any manual on how to live life? Infact if you google up how to do anything on the internet you get so many different options, so which one is correct? which do you choose and people won't still have their say about it?

Let me go spiritual here and tell you its only what God says concerning you that should be your motivating factor. That should be what pushes you and what keeps you going. I have done so many things in my life that people have said contrary things to but I have gone ahead and I am better off for it. Sometimes they haven't been palatable but because I have consulted and prayed before doing it, I just wait it out and God has remained faithful.

One of such decisions was resigning from my lucrative bank job which gave me all the comforts of life, travelling, wearing expensive clothes, shoes, gold jewelry and even buying a tear rubber car as far back as 2006. 

However when I got the leading to leave the job in 2010 it wasn't easy for me. I left and for about 2 years my eye see serious pepper! I almost called paper money sef but I thank God I never begged anyone to feed but today, I am gradually getting back on my feet. Though still financially managing with my kids, I take it one day at a time and I have learnt to live within my means and not regret anything. Truth be told, what I am even doing with my meager income now is more accountable than that time when I was earning millions.


It doesn't mean you can't consider the counsel of "respected" people and I am careful with that word because so many people seem to be respected but are not. Let me give you an instance, when I was going to leave my marriage, I discussed with a "respected" person in the ministry and he told me not to leave because people will assume I am wayward and want to mess around, instead his advice was for me to date him secretly and keep up appearances that I am happily married! 

He even went ahead to tell me he will do everything a husband should do and guess what? this was a married spiritual elder! Someone who should actually know better, initially I considered it because the financial implication was very tempting. He gave me some money to help hasten that decision and the money no be small one (Lol). Of course I didn't take up his suggestion but I no return that money o!

Then let me not even talk about different counsel from friends all on this "what will people say" route. Not to throw shots at anyone, today, so many of them that are still married come to me for counsel on various issues and when they tell me some stuff they are facing in their homes I am totally blown away.

So please allow any decision you want to make be spiritually motivated and not people motivated so that after all said and done you won't be miserable because you are keeping up appearances.


Below is a podcast about this same topic where I share some home truths about some decisions I should have made but didn't including why I didn't just drive away and not turn up on my wedding day!




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