Shocking News & Lesson About The Death Of A Dear Friend, RIP Bimpe Abatan

The past few days have been very taxing on me emotionally and psychologically. I found out a friend of mine from way back died a few days ago leaving behind 3 children and her husband. Her last born is a cute little girl who is just 4 years old but what hit me so hard asides these, are the factors that led to her death. 

Apparently about 5/6 years ago she had a ghastly accident and was hospitalized for almost a year during which she had multiple surgeries to make her face look okay. She emerged with a lopsided face due to the surgery but like a trooper she went ahead in life with this disfigured look and often used to take crazy selfies and will even pout and was just generally very playful and outgoing.

Funny enough, I never actually knew about this accident until she passed on few days ago. But the thing about this lady is that she was always reaching out to me and sending me words of comfort during those initial years of struggling as a single mum when I used to just vent on Facebook and think my life was all over because of my financial challenges.

However, I am ashamed to say I wasn't reciprocal in checking up on her. I was so full of bitterness and angry with myself and everyone around me at that time. I never even asked her what happened to her face because I didn't want to embarrass her as it was obvious that something bad must have happened to her.

Honestly, Bimpe was quite faithful in checking in, she even went as far as getting my BB pin and would ping me from time to time over the years. The last time we communicated at length was during and after the Presidential election when we were just goofing around about Sai Baba, Sai Buhari and we were sharing updates as regards the expected outcome. We also chatted again after the swearing in when the Baba Go-slow slogan for Buhari started (Gosh...this is so hard). 

Surprisingly, a few weeks ago, it just crossed my mind that I hadn't seen any sign of her on Facebook because she was always liking my pictures or posts that I put up. But again, it slipped my mind (God forgive me....) and I never got round to pinging her on my BBM. To now hear that she died on Sunday through a friend's BB update just filled me with so much pain and GUILT!

Another thing that made the pain more was the fact that she died from CANCER after surviving that horrible accident years ago.....cancer killed her!! It even hurts more that she has been on my BBM for so long but I can't even remember initiating a ping to her even though she always sent messages to me from time to time or respond when I sent out BCs. I am looking at her picture right now on my BBM contact list and I feel a deep pain in my heart. 

This made me go through my list and I realised there are so many people on my contacts list who I haven't even spoken to or chatted with this year at all (8 months into the year already!). Is it that we get so busy we forget to check in on people that are supposedly our friends or is it a thing of pride that makes us wait for them to ping us first or reach out to us first?

I implore us to check up on ourselves from time to time and not wait till we hear unfortunate news and then start regretting that we never bothered to even be in contact with each other.

Adebimpe Adejumo Abatan, I am sorry it took your death to shock me into this reality. For what it is worth, I appreciated the way you kept in touch over the years despite me not being forthcoming. May your beautiful soul continue to rest in peace and may God give your family the fortitude to bear this loss.

I know you are no more in pain and you are at peace and rejoicing with the angels in heaven. Your life and death though very painful remains a lesson to many people about inspiration, persistence, strength, faith, hope and keeping our head up no matter what life throws our way.

After struggling to come to terms with your death (though very difficult, I still find myself crying from time to time...) it has made me realize that indeed life is too short to waste on grudges or forming too busy. 

Oremi Adebimpe Sun Re O........