Monday, 14 December 2015

Must You Be A Side Chic/Bae Because You Are Tired Of Being Single?

I saw this picture above and I could totally relate with it! The fact that you are a strong independent woman doesn't mean the door is closed to your emotions or feelings and it does overwhelm you from time to time especially when you see pictures of romance all around you or watch Telemundo or Zee World(shout out to Yash and Artie fans...Lol!) or nowadays even on social media

On a serious note though, these kind of feelings can actually put you in trouble if you are not careful. There is the tendency to become a side chic/bae to often time a married man. Oya stop rolling your eyes, you know I am being truthful.

I have said it countless times that I am not perfect and of course from time to time I make mistakes like every one of us but the ability to learn from such and not repeat it is what makes you a better person. Of course I have gone down this married man route a couple of times if you remember in one of my previous posts where I said I had a "girls gone wild experience"? Well the truth is you will ALWAYS be second best (that is if you are not 3rd, 4th or even 5th on his list of conquests)

There was a time I was in such a relationship and this particular guy who was on my BBM list will keep changing his DP with his wife's pictures and writing all sorts of soppy "you rock my world" bla bla bla and then will send private messages to me claiming love as well....abeg who is fooling who?

Now this is for the category of married men who have no issues with their wives how about the ones who have issues at home but tell you it is complicated and yet they keep going back home but you are their convenient package hidden in one corner?

The truth is you don't need any man that cannot proudly be seen publicly with you. You don't need a man that cannot publicly acknowledge you as being with him. Lets not deceive ourselves that understanding you claim to have will wear thin after a while. Maybe you started out being very considerate of madam at home but down the line when your emotions take over you sef will start wanting more time and attention and then fight will begin which might lead to the end of this 3rd wheel relationship and who is left in the cold? YOU!!

There is this unspoken mentality that a married man will take good care of you or be more understanding and all that but  if he cheated on his wife to be with you then he will also cheat on you to be with someone else and trust me you will not find it funny even though you sef dey cheat with him.

He makes me happy, he understands me, he is so good to me, he helps me....these are some of the excuses we make for ourselves to justify being someone's side chic either the person is married or in a relationship with someone else. Let us stop deceiving ourselves and remember we deserve the best. 

Stop allowing one man/woman hide you in a corner while they keep up appearances to the world that they are responsible people while you are the victim because you are either divorced, a single parent or even a mature single that thinks no one will ever want you.

I know being alone is not easy but even being in a relationship is also not easy because it takes a lot to make it work so why involve yourself in drama that will end up making you feel worse or affect your self esteem? May God continue to help us all and give us wisdom.


  1. Bimbo, you just spoke to me. Its a temporary fix but as women, our emotions don't understand boundaries. Nip it in the bud while you still can.

  2. Kai! Anonymous what you said hit me SERIOUSLY......emotions don't understand boundaries truly o! Sometimes we do know better but still go ahead. Thank you for your comment, God bless you plenty!


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