Monday, 10 August 2015

Before You Think I Am Super Woman, Here Is Where I Got My Strength

In the course of single handedly raising 2 children by myself, many people tell me that I am a strong woman and hail my courage of coping with this situation but while I smile and tell them it has been the Grace of God that has brought me thus far, in my mind I say if only you truly know how hard it really is.

A few years ago, 2010 to be exact, I had just lost my lucrative bank job with which I was forming 'Big Girl' with. There I was, a single mum, 2 dependants and no source of income. I sold practically everything of value that I had and then reality set in as there was nothing more to sell and no one to reach out to.

Then came the shame of changing my children from the high brow school they were attending because I couldn't afford it anymore and it was becoming very embarrassing for the children to be called out regularly for not being able to pay their school fees.

At this point, I was totally broken and downcast because I honestly didn't have a penny to my name despite having worked in a bank for almost 10 years (that is gist for another day). With no hope in sight, I was thinking of allowing the children stay home for a while till I could get myself together and that was when I decided to join a fellowship in my church that caters to people in this situation.

Let me take this time to say if you are attending a religious organisation whether Christian or Muslim and they cannot help you in your time of need, you might want to have a rethink about being with them. While it is not possible for such organisations to meet the financial need of everybody, they should be able to offer you a support system that can help direct you towards being able to either support yourself or stand on your feet.

In my church, the Fountain of Life, Ilupeju, it was the Ruth and Boaz fellowship. I NEVER knew anyone there but started attending their meetings where I gradually got comfort through prayers and counselling.  I also joined their vocational school and learnt how to make liquid soap so I could have something to do as I was jobless and no job was forthcoming.

However, with the looming issue of my children sitting at home and not attending any school, I eventually approached the pastors in charge of the fellowship and I was blown away at their response. They comforted me and told me to even thank God the children had an opportunity of a foundation in the former expensive school they were attending and advised me to look for a cheaper school and bring the bill to the fellowship.

Prayerfully, I looked for a school and I want to say the fellowship paid my children's school fees for the whole 2011 session which was 3 terms! Infact in 2012 when God finally opened my book of remembrance and I got a job I had to write them to stop paying as I now had a job that could help me support the fees.

Funny enough I never publicly gave this testimony until this year exactly 3 years after when I shared it at one of the fellowship meetings in church.

I also want to use this medium to encourage any single parent to get a support system which is what I am also trying to do with this blog. Asides the financial part, there is the part when it seems like you are losing your sanity and you need someone to talk to, someone to comfort you or even someone to pray for you sometimes.

Please learn to put pride and shame away, this situation you are in is not a permanent one even if it seems that way sometimes, but the truth is if you wallow in self pity, you won't be able to think straight and look at your options as to how to move forward.

The place of God in all of this should also not be forgotten, prayer does work, I am a testimony of this and I can tell you categorically that here is nothing too trivial to pray to God about. Yes, the answer might not come immediately (sometimes it does), but you can be rest assured that He will answer.


  1. God bless you for this. I hope people in this situation can reach out to the right people. Abroad there are usually therapy or support groups not only churches.

  2. Wow! This really blessed me

    Queen Anonymous


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