These past few days have been very tough on me emotionally in so many ways. First of all, my daughter moved from Junior Secondary to Senior secondary school and my son graduated from Primary to Secondary school! I am sure you are wondering hey, that's so much to be grateful for and honestly saying thank you to God even seems too small for how far he has kept me through this journey of raising 2 children as a single mum.
I really can't help but be grateful to God for seeing my son Ayolana finish his primary education even though its bittersweet because it should have been him and his twin sister, Ayomipo graduating to secondary school but unfortunately she didn't live beyond the age of 1. Yes its been more than 9 years since she died but the truth is one never forgets the loss of a child. However, I still have a lot to thank God for as regards his protection and provision for my kids and I.
I look at these children and I am amazed at how God did not allow me be put to shame concerning them. I won't lie the journey has been tough and continues to be. I have had to change their school three times because of school fees but to the Glory of God my children have been troopers throughout all these upheavals.
Why am I now suddenly so blank emotionally? I won't lie its simply because the journey continues and fear wants to creep in somewhat. Oh yes, I trust God will see me through afterall He has been there for us all this while and will continue to be but the human part of me still worries. However, I am writing this to encourage someone today to ALWAYS make God number one because so many times people ask me 'Bimbo, how are you doing it?' some even say 'Bimbo you are a strong woman!'
Please be not deceived, the strength only comes from God and trust me I break down so many times and cry in my room, have sleepless nights and still show up with Mary Kay on my face looking like iceblock will not melt in my mouth...Lol! Let me even say I still cried like a baby a few days ago. However, what continues to keep me going is the fact that God is truly a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him.
Yes, I am afraid of the next journey in my children's lives especially with new school fees coming up especially since its a new session and we all know how school fees are not smiling these days but then I am confident in the fact that God will ALWAYS make a way where there seems to be none.
So to any single mum reading this, keep on keeping on and when those overwhelming times come (trust me they will!), remind yourself that God has not brought you this far to leave you. You also have to be strong in your mind because even though some people are there to encourage you, if you don't believe in yourself, you won't go far or achieve much.
Its okay to be afraid but rather than allow that fear cripple you and make you slip into depression, allow it push you forward and see it as FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE (FEAR)!