Early this morning my ex husband called me on the phone and said he heard I had been telling people that he hasn't been financially responsible for the children despite him sending money to us. I asked him his definition of sending money to us and also if it was regular, he got all angry and cut off the phone.
I left my husband in 2009 and for the first 2 or 3 years, I can count how many times he supposedly sent us money because it was not frequent. Infact the first 2 years we were barely even talking because I was very bitter towards him especially after I lost my bank job in 2010 and survival was just by the Grace of God.
I don't even want to get into the huge financial embarrassment that led into me having to withdraw my children from their former high brow school and the Head teacher there can witness to this though I won't mention her name here except push comes to shove. On this blog I have mentioned here how my church paid my children's school fees in their new school for the whole of 2011 till I got a job in 2012.
2013 is when I can say he started chipping in from time to time and I won't get into how many times my children still missed out weeks in school because they weren't allowed to sit in classes due to irregular payment of school fees on our part. Of course this affected their academic performance and I had to put shame aside and explain to the school the situation on ground which led to them allowing me pay school fees twice or sometimes 3 times a term as a special concession so my kids could attend classes and this eventually led to an improvement in their school work to the glory of God.
Yes he is now being more financially responsible for the kids school fees even though its a kind of "buy now pay later" arrangement where I would have hustled to pay the school fees before he now pays back in his own time ( at all at all na im bad pass right?)
However, it isn't like he gives us a monthly allowance or something and of course I am paying my own house rent, car maintenance, feeding and clothing the children (oops...he sometimes buys clothes for them with the most recent being from his Dubai trip)
So for him to call and ask if he hasn't been a responsible father has got me wondering exactly what the definition of a responsible father really is?