Friday, 7 August 2015

Not A Blushing Bride....A Brief Background Of My Wedding In 2002


I guess starting out this blog today was really divine after all as a few hours ago my children dug out my wedding album which I have never looked at since I left my ex hubby in 2009

I finally looked at the pictures and honestly it was obvious that I wasn't your typical blushing bride and there was really no huge smile on my face on a day that was supposed to be the happiest in my life. 

Many people still ask me how come I went ahead with the wedding and stayed on long enough to have 2 children if it was that bad and the truth is, I only did what was expected of me. It was like I was on autopilot, I had finished school, I was serving when I met my husband and the next thing was getting married.

We barely even knew each other because at the time we met, I was coming out of my first and only relationship which ended because the guy's mum did not want him to marry me because according to her I was raised by a single mum and was too independent. That 2 year relationship was my life so I was heartbroken afterwards and needed something or someone to take my mind off it hence my hubby came into the picture.

Funny enough at that time he was also dating someone his parents didn't approve off and I was the perfect candidate to get his parents off his back. 3 Months after we met I got pregnant..... (ladies please learn to close your legs or just have safe sex!) I think that was where things changed as I refused to have an abortion which he wanted and months later we got married.

Very unromantic and bland right? I agree with you too. Relationships should be exciting and interesting even if you have moments of disagreement but ours was anything but that. All these signs were there from the very beginning but I still went ahead and got married. I can hear someone asking what about love? 

I will be very honest with you, I never loved him.....(liar right?). I promised to be very open and upfront with this blog. I never loved him but I saw him as an escape route from a broken relationship, I saw him as being someone to settle for since my former boyfriend had left me because of his mother. In my little reasoning at that time, I also wanted to prove to my ex boyfriend that I could get another man to actually marry me(silly right?)

Everything about my wedding day was not even planned by me down to the colors of the day, the clothes we wore and even the wedding cake which I hated. Can you believe that there were only 3 of my friends on my wedding train? the rest were girlfriends of my husband's friends! Like I said it was like I was on auto pilot but I went ahead because I didn't want to disappoint my mum who was so excited with all the planning of the event.

Fast forward to today, I ended up still kind of disappointing my mum by allowing myself get caught up in a bad marriage and having to start over from scratch and raising 2 children all by myself with so much struggle. 

Sometimes I wish I never turned up on my wedding day, I am sure my mum would have gotten over that by now 13 years later but instead I went ahead and now the consequences are for life. My major reason for going into all these details is to advise anyone faced with this kind of dilemma, of a truth, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

Let me stop here for now but there is still so much more to share with you in days to come. Just keep visiting this blog and I hope many people will learn from my own experience and avoid some of my mistakes.


19 comments:

  1. Oh God this is so me right now!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for being vulnerable enough to share your story. I am following your blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much Ade, welcome on board!

      Delete
    2. I'm so about the whole thing happening to you the way it did, I still believe you're a superwoman from day one i saw you till now. God is your strength. Everything would turn out fine. I must confess I've learnt something new to help me also. Was not allowed to marry my Anambra babe cos I'm Yoruba. I hope she happy where she is tho. Tanx for being open as well. God bless you always.

      Delete
  3. Bimbo, I am so proud of you. You are the future of our country. This blog is going to bless singles and I know you will have testimonies. Please be encouraged and never, never give up. I'm going to share this blog with my sister who leads her church's singles' group.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tx a bunch sis, I would appreciate that and may God do that which only He can do.

      Delete
  4. Bims Bims. Xoxox Hajara

    ReplyDelete
  5. Holy God! This story left my mouth hanging. I'm following.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol....pls do Charitybabe. Thank you

      Delete
  6. Always very proud of you.
    Good job at this new chapter of writing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awhhhhh......tx so much dear *kisses*

      Delete
  7. Always very proud of you.
    Good job at this new chapter of writing

    ReplyDelete
  8. aunty Bimbo this is a nice one, the lord Almighty will continue to strengthen you. Amen

    ReplyDelete
  9. Interesting read Bimbo. We thank God 2 beautiful children came out of that marriage and I know God will perfect all that concerns you. Love your honesty. Carry on dear. Lots of love.. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just read your blog and totally shocked at how someone like you, always so caring and always smiling could have wedding pictures with such blank and unsmiling face. I remember when I first saw your picture on Facebook I thought to myself, Christ, this lady still smiles just as she used to in fed shag and even more but little did I know that the smiles holds a lot of memory. Really happy for you and I trust God to surely instruct you in the best pathway for you and your children, advice you and watch over your progress, ps32:8. God grant you wisdom and success on the blog, there's a lesson in your story even to the married. Please keep up the good work

    ReplyDelete
  11. This has blessed me tremendously dear. This has even shown me to hold on still....I am a single mom like you too. It would surely end in praise .Love always.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello Bimbo l wish you know the number of ladies willing to go through the path you took. I have had to counsel quite a number of ladies not to follow it. But some of this ladies have made up their mind. Some believe that as far as there is comfort and money love is not require. They will grow to love the person. Hopefully they will get to read your blog and learn the hard truth. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Darling, U r absolutely blessed. Am glad u r fulfilling a dream I couldn't accomplish. More grace sweets. Bliv me u went thru it for ur assignment to be fulfilled in life. Ur Mess is always a Message for your purpose in life to be fulfilled to His glory n the blessings urs. U will laugh last.

    ReplyDelete

Designed by Jide Ogunsanya.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...